I know it’s a long shot this message will get to you, but I just wanted to at least try. The first picture above is a status my mom, Connie, posted after we went to your “Speak Now: Help Now” concert charity event. (2nd picture was from that night) That was the first real show any of us had ever been to, and I was enchanted. I couldn’t help but dance until my feet were numb and sing at the top of my lungs. It was a perfect night, and I was there with two of my favorite people: my mom and sister. Also, shortly after, my sister and I sang “Best Day” at our 5th grade graduation. My mom was the one who bought me all your CDS, perfumes, merchandise, etc. Every time you were about to sing on an award show or something, she’d always yell for me and I’d come running up the stairs and we’d watch you perform together. When we got in the car, every long ride was a jam session to one of your albums. We’d all sing as loud and proud as we wanted. She also got me a magazine framed and signed by you, which to this day is still hanging in my room! The Christmas of 2011, my mom surprised me and got me a guitar. And you know why I wanted to know how to play guitar? I was determined to learn how to play at least one of your songs; she even bought me a Taylor Swift guitar song book. The next year I was even more surprised when I opened an envelope that said I was going to your Nashville stop on the RED tour. I cried tears of joy because I could not believe that my mom had managed to let my sister Keri and I go to a concert with friends on our own. The seats were amazing and even now I don’t know how she got them. She was sneaky like that. At the concert, I never sat down. My eyes were fixed on you. I never wanted to leave my seat in the arena. My mom was already in bed when we got home, but she jumped out of bed to talk to my sister and I about the concert and she was grinning ear to ear.
On May 31st, 2014, I lost my mom. That morning she wouldn’t respond to anything we said and she wasn’t breathing. I woke up to hear my dad screaming for my brother to wake up and help him. I jolted up in my bed when I heard voices, and then the paramedics arrived. I couldn’t stop crying, I was so confused and so scared. I saw her being wheeled out of her room on a stretcher, and she mumbled. That was the last time I ever saw her or heard from her.
A couple days later, the funeral happened. It’s one of those days you have to look like you have everything together but you really don’t. Previously they had asked the family to compile a list of songs to be played that day; naturally, we picked “Best Day”. Throughout the service I was able to hold it together, only manage a sniffle and tear here and there, until it came to that song. I just couldn’t keep it together. Images of my childhood flashed through my mind as I heard the words.
So this is to you, Taylor. I just wanted to say I love you from the depths of my heart. You have made it easier for me to “shake” things off, “speak” when I want to be heard, and most of all be “fearless”. My mom loved your music just as much as I did, and I just want to do her justice by trying to get you to see this. My sister and I have been proud swifties ever since “Fearless” and we can’t wait ‘till “1989” comes out. I hope you’re having a great day Taylor. Thanks for everything xoxo